This is a quote from the book The Promise by Damon Galgut.
Quote by Damon Galgut, “Whatever is hated is also feared, some consolation in that.”
Have you read this book? I’d love to hear your thoughts in a comment below!
If you’re interested, you can read an excerpt from the book here.
The Promise – Summary
Here is the book summary from Goodreads:
The Promise charts the crash and burn of a white South African family, living on a farm outside Pretoria. The Swarts are gathering for Ma’s funeral. The younger generation, Anton and Amor, detest everything the family stand for — not least the failed promise to the Black woman who has worked for them her whole life. After years of service, Salome was promised her own house, her own land… yet somehow, as each decade passes, that promise remains unfulfilled.
The narrator’s eye shifts and blinks: moving fluidly between characters, flying into their dreams; deliciously lethal in its observation. And as the country moves from old deep divisions to its new so-called fairer society, the lost promise of more than just one family hovers behind the novel’s title.
In this story of a diminished family, sharp and tender emotional truths hit home. Confident, deft and quietly powerful, The Promise is literary fiction at its finest.
This is an excerpt from the book The Promise by Damon Galgut.
And she can see somebody moving around in there. A female figure, bustling about. If she half closes her eyes, Amor can imagine that it really is her mother, her body strong and healthy again, cleaning up the medicine from next to her bed. Not needed any more. Ma is better again, time has been turned back, the world is restored. Easy as that.
But she knows she’s just pretending and the person in the room isn’t Ma. It’s Salome, of course, who has been here on the farm for ever, or that’s how it feels. My grandfather always talked about her like that, Oh, Salome, I got her along with the land.
Pause a moment to observe, as she takes the sheets off the bed. A stout, solid woman, wearing a second-hand dress, given to her by Ma years ago. A headscarf tied over her hair.
She is barefoot, and the soles of her feet are cracked and dirty. Her hands have marks on them too, the scuffs and scars of innumerable collisions. Same age as Ma supposedly, forty, though she looks older. Hard to put an exact number on her. Not much shows in her face, she wears her life like a mask, like a graven image.
But some things you do know, because you saw them yourself. In the same impassive way that Salome sweeps and cleans the house and washes the clothes of the people who live in it, she looked after Ma through her last illness, dressing and undressing her, helping her to bathe with a bucket of hot water and a lappie, helping her to go to the toilet, yes, even wiping her arse for her after she used the bedpan, mopping up blood and shit and pus and piss, all the jobs that people in her own family didn’t want to do, too dirty or too intimate, Let Salome do it, that’s what she’s paid for, isn’t it? She was with Ma when she died, right there next to the bed, though nobody seems to see her, she is apparently invisible. And whatever Salome feels is invisible too. She has been told, Clean up here, wash the sheets, and she obeys, she cleans up, she washes the sheets.
But Amor can see her through the window, so she’s not invisible after all. Thinking about a memory, not understood till now, of an afternoon just two weeks ago, in that same room, with Ma and Pa. They forgot I was there, in the corner. They didn’t see me, I was like a black woman to them.
(Do you promise me, Manie?
Holding on to him, skeleton hands grabbing, like in a horror film.
Ja, I’ll do it.
Because I really want her to have something. After everything she’s done.
I understand, he says.
Promise me you’ll do it. Say the words.
I promise, Pa says, choked-sounding.)
She sees the picture still, her parents tangled together like Jesus and His mother, a terrible sad knot of clutching and crying. The sound somewhere else, higher up and apart, the words not reaching her till now. But finally she understands who they were talking about. Of course. Obviously. Duh.
Have you read this book? I’d love to hear your thoughts in a comment below!
The Promise – Summary
Here is the book summary from Goodreads:
The Promise charts the crash and burn of a white South African family, living on a farm outside Pretoria. The Swarts are gathering for Ma’s funeral. The younger generation, Anton and Amor, detest everything the family stand for — not least the failed promise to the Black woman who has worked for them her whole life. After years of service, Salome was promised her own house, her own land… yet somehow, as each decade passes, that promise remains unfulfilled.
The narrator’s eye shifts and blinks: moving fluidly between characters, flying into their dreams; deliciously lethal in its observation. And as the country moves from old deep divisions to its new so-called fairer society, the lost promise of more than just one family hovers behind the novel’s title.
In this story of a diminished family, sharp and tender emotional truths hit home. Confident, deft and quietly powerful, The Promise is literary fiction at its finest.
Have you ever heard of the concept of Ubuntu? As I was reading Everyday Ubuntu, by Mungi Ngomane, which focuses on lessons from the Rainbow Nation (South Africa) on how to apply the concept of Ubuntu to your everyday life. Ubuntu is a belief and philosophy focused on how we are all connected (the universal human bond).
I found that the biggest message from this book was the concept of connectedness to each other. This comes from the belief of a universal human bond.
We are all connected, and our interconnectedness is both our strength and weakness. If we ignore it, we will all be negatively impacted by others. However we can build each other up and work on improving things together, using our connectedness as a strength and as a way to benefit each other.
What affects one person, affects us all. Whether or not we choose to see the cause and effect. Our connections are not a choice, but simply how our societies function, and with globalization our connections more easily cross borders, oceans, and continents.
In the end, there’s strength in unity and we can use that strength to affect the world in a positive or negative way. We simply need to see each other as fully human and equal, using empathy to improve the world.
You don’t have to do it alone
Building on the connectedness of the first point above, you don’t need to go through any struggle by yourself. You are not alone.
It’s almost guaranteed that others have been in a similar situation before. It may not be exactly the same, but likely there is someone with a similar experience. Nothing is new or completely unique, meaning others have experienced something similar to what you are going through.
Our shared similarities mean you can benefit from their experience. You can learn from each other. There’s no need for you to learn it the hard way when someone has already learned that lesson. We can help each other overcome difficult experiences while minimizing their struggle and pain. I think the internet has been a massive tool for helping people connect and learn from each other.
All you need to do is ask for help. A friendly reminder, it’s okay to ask for help! I know many people struggle to ask for help and feel they should be able to do it on their own. But people who care about you are probably happy to help you. Think about how you feel when someone asks you for help. Then there are people who don’t even know you who are willing to help, look at how the internet has connected individuals who help each other even when they’ve never met.
You don’t have to be alone. There are always others either going through something similar or have already gone through it, who can help you navigate the situations. I find that so hopeful, as some experiences can make you feel so completely isolated, but you’re not alone.
There’s strength in unity, and it’s easier to go through difficult situations together. A community or supporters can provide you with advice, guidance, or just someone to listen and understand. You can find that through people you know or look online for people that understand your experience.
If you need it, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Empathy is the goal
I found that many aspects of ubuntu that were discussed were related to having empathy for others. Which meant that building up empathy for those around you (and everyone else) is the goal.
A key part of having empathy is being able to listen and really hearing what is being said (not just listening to then be able to talk about yourself). The act of actually being heard and understood is what people crave and how people feel connected to others. Empathy is shown by understanding and really listening to others.
Throughout the book, Mungi gives examples from her own country of South Africa (the Rainbow Nation), especially during and after apartheid.
After apartheid, there was a very extensive truth and reconciliation process to help the country heal. The process carried out by the Truth and Reconciliation Commission was not focused on punishing others, but simply making sure everyone understood what had happened during apartheid. It was about making sure everyone was able to tell their stories and be heard by the country. Only by being heard and making sure people could tell their stories truthfully, without retaliation, could everyone acknowledge the extent of what had happened and be able to move forward together.
I found the discussion of the truth and reconciliation process very powerful, especially since most stories being told were horrendous acts of hatred and there was not going to be any punishment given. I understand that it needed to be discussed openly so that everyone understood what the country had been through, but it sounds incredibly difficult.
It also made me wonder what my country, Canada, could’ve done better in our own Truth and Reconciliation Commission for the residential schools forced on the Indigenous Peoples.
Final thoughts
I learned a lot about South Africa in this book. It was fascinating to hear about the way the country started to heal after apartheid and how these Ubuntu lessons translated to practical action in the face of extreme hatred.
Many lessons of Ubuntu seemed straight forward and sometimes simple, but the ramifications for actually living that way is when the concept becomes more radical. The examples of how the lessons play out in a post-apartheid South Africa was incredibly powerful.
Even if you’re already a very empathic and understanding person, I would encourage you to read this book just to learn more about South Africa.
